Self-Portrait by Ray Ketcham
I just love this photograph of Ray. By now you know that he has taken on the role of a photography mentor for me and some of you may be wondering what that looks like. Mentoring involves a relationship between two people based on the goal of personal or professional development. The “mentor” shares his knowledge and experience with someone who is less experienced and not so knowledgeable. That person is sometimes referred to as a “mentee” but I prefer the word “protégé”. For me, “mentor-mentee” is too close to “employer-employee” and that’s definitely not what this is. Our relationship is more one where Ray encourages and supports me by discussing concepts and ideas essential to becoming an artist and photographer. To some degree he provides advice but it never really feels like advice and from time to time, we discuss images. On rare occasions we might even go out photographing together. We talk on the phone and use online chat to have discussions. Sometimes I will email Ray with a question and he will write a long letter back to me. And of course we use Twitter to connect with each other every day. Some days I might even get a “Good morning”. (Just kidding, Ray!)
Finding the right mentor is a bit like shopping for shoes—at least that’s how it was for me. I went in search of a mentor because I knew I needed one to help take my photography to the next level. I found a few photographers who could be mentors but none of them were quite the right fit for me. So I stopped looking. Then last April I spent some time with my friends Dave, David, and Mary and with Ray at the Skagit Valley Tulip Festival. In the evening we sat around and talked about art and photography and discussed some of the images in books Mary had brought with her. The next day Ray came out into the tulip fields with me and we hung out together. In afternoon the Vancouver crew returned home and I stayed behind to chat with Ray in the lobby of the hotel. Time just flew by and eventually he had to leave to catch the ferry home. That whole experience left me craving more. I wanted to explore the ideas we discussed and I had a whole boatload of questions. Ray and I stayed in touch and from time to time, I’d ask him some of those lingering questions. He was always open to hearing from me and gave me more to think about rather than just answering my questions. Then one day it occurred to me that I had found my shoes. So I asked him if he would consider mentoring me and after a little bit of discussion, he agreed.
A few months have passed since we cemented our relationship with this mentoring agreement and I have to say that mentoring is Ray’s gift. There is absolutely no doubt in my mind that Ray was born to be a mentor. I say this with conviction for two reasons. One is that I mentor people at work and it’s a struggle if it’s not a natural calling. Ray not only has the skills and knowledge to be a mentor; he has the attitude. I have never had any doubt that he is in this relationship to help me be a better photographer. If I have an obstacle I can’t seem to work through, Ray will spend time trying to figure out how to help me. And believe me I don’t get the “kid-gloves” treatment. I have to work at whatever he throws at me. One day I was whining about one of the things he asked me to try and he sent me a firm but politely worded 140 characters letting me know that he wasn’t the right mentor for me if I was looking for an easy solution. The second reason I know that this is Ray’s gift is because others see evidence of it in my photography. A few weeks ago, I received an email from a photographer friend saying that my images were “getting better and my style stronger all the time but somewhere in the last six months or so, it really jumped out“. Coincidence? I don’t think so.
So is mentoring for you? I believe anyone can benefit from having a mentor but the key is finding the right person. Ray is actually quite the opposite kind of person I would have considered in the past. But I think that’s where the value is for me; I need a perspective I don’t have. How can more of the same bring me to a different place in my photography? It can’t. Ray and I do have a shared set of fundamental values about how we view life, people, and relationships. There are things that we do not agree on but instead of letting those become a problem in the mentoring relationship, they are adding diversity to our conversations and discussions.
There are things you should consider if you’re thinking about getting a mentor. What approach do they take? Is it structured and formal or is it relaxed and ad hoc? How much time can you commit to this relationship and to mentoring as whole? Like I said, it takes work on your part. How often will you be able to contact each other and how will you do that? Ray and I live in two different countries so we cannot meet any time we’d like but we are on the same time zone and that helps for phone conversations and online chats. We have also had two face-to-face meetings in the past five months. How long can you spend in each meeting? Typically our sessions are one to two hours depending on what needs to be explored and how much work has been done in the interim. When we meet in person though, the clock is thrown out the window.
Mentors can become confidantes and often serve as a sounding board for issues and concerns so although confidentiality may be understood, you may want to talk about this more directly. Because our relationship developed spontaneously, the objectives of my mentoring arrangement were not hammered out at the beginning. You should do this if you intend to enter into a formal mentoring partnership. There are things a mentor will be able to help you with but there are also limits to what you can expect. After all you have to do most of work. I also think it is important to set up regular intervals to review how the arrangement is working for both parties. I do this informally during our chats. Ray and I have not discussed how long this relationship will continue but we do have several projects planned into the near future as well as some big dreams. For now, each of the projects will be a milestone by which we will judge our working relationship. I, for one, am really looking forward to sharing the results of our collaboration with you all.
If you are considering mentoring as a way to improve your photography, I know Ray has room to mentor a couple more people so please feel free to contact him to find out more about it. To learn more about Ray, check out this interview he did last year with my friend Mark Krajnak. And of course, if you have any questions for me, please feel free to contact me directly.
Your timing on this is perfect, Sabrina. I saw this on Twitter the other day:
“I’ve said this before, but if you do a job for a living & I can do it better than you though it’s *not* my job, then you suck.”
This bothered me a lot, but I wasn’t completely able to put my finger on it until I read your post. This arrogant dismissal is the *opposite* of mentoring. Sure, people need to know their jobs and do them as well as they can, but we all struggle sometimes. I’ve always wanted to give folks the benefit of the doubt about it, rather than condemn them.
Anyway, my point is that I know Ray is *not* that guy. I’ve only spent time with Ray online and on a single phone call, but I can tell he’s exactly as you describe: very knowledgeable about his craft and, more importantly, completely willing to share that knowledge with anyone who asks. A perfect combination for a mentor.
I look forward to seeing more of how you two push forward on this crazy road.
Crazy road is right, Stuart! One thing I’ve come to really appreciate about Ray is that he knows how to navigate on this journey. I think the secret is sharing. It’s an under-valued skill in this world but Ray has it in spades
I don’t believe you could have picked a better mentor. He’s a good man from what I can tell.
He thinks very highly of you, Mark. I hope you’ll get a chance to meet him soon.
Great post. It’s true, looking back at my life…so many mentors. Mom, dad, first photo-instructor, peers, authors, artists, etc. I’m still being mentored all the time and you can’t stress enough how important that relationship is, even when it is brief, fleeting, etc.
Daniel, I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to see you here on my blog. I am going to be open to appreciating the brief and fleeting mentoring moments as I hadn’t even thought about them until you mentioned them here. Thank you!
[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Mark Olwick, Justin Van Leeuwen, Stuart Sipahigil and others. Stuart Sipahigil said: Please read @SabrinaHenry's blog post today on mentoring. http://bit.ly/azyumZ Great post & profile on @rlkphoto. [...]
” some of you may be wondering what that looks like”
We still are!
Wonderful post. There’s so much to think about in here, not only on mentoring, mentors and mentees (is there such a word?), but also about learning. I learnt photography through the internet (and continue to do so), but also with the support of a group of fellow photowalkers. Sharing is so incredibly important to learning and its experience. So much joy from life comes from shared experiences, but we often forget it’s so when it comes to guarding hard won personal success (which seems to be happening in some of the photography communities/businesses right now).
Great profile on Ray, and thank you for introducing us. I can’t wait to see what you two get up to!
As for what we’ll get up to…there’s only one word to describe it: trouble!
Sounds like fun already
I hope the unveiling of this trouble isn’t too far away…
There might be a bit of mystery to that too but only because some projects are more long term. I will tell you this though, we are headed to San Francisco the second week of November so you will see “trouble” sooner rather than later
I believe anytime we offer help to another person, whatever that may be, that mentor will also receive from that experience. So I believe you and Ray are recipients and will both become better at your craft and how you share that. I’m aware how religions have spiritual guides/directors to help along novices and apprentices. I’ve been tossing that idea around in my head for quite some time. Thanks for sharing your journey with us.
I would agree with you, Monte. Sometimes Ray shares with me what I’ve brought to him through this relationship. I think it’s kind of personal but I’m hoping one day he might share some of it with you.
What a great read and a great insight into the mentor / protege role and work process. It is very interesting to learn about never having had a mentor myself. I do tend to mentor others, I am not sure they always want it
Sometimes people just want a “great image” comment. It takes courage to learn, love it.
Oh and Ray is the King of Spades – awesome portrait.
The only thing I don’t like about Ray’s portrait is that I wasn’t the photographer.
I’m glad you like the post, Flemming. There was a time when I wanted everyone to say “great image” but a while ago I changed my thinking about this. I’m still working on how that all fits into the journey and at some point I’ll be ready to share my thoughts. Stay tuned!
What a fantastic post. I had a formalised mentoring relationship as part of a development program a t work a few years ago and it wasn’t a disaster but it certainly didn’t work for me. The choosing process was such that the business brought 8 mentees and 8 mentors together for a week and by the end of the week we were to choose our partnerships. Unfortunately it was mandatory that it be a one-to-one relationship and some of the mentors were much stronger than others and highly sought after.
It definitely sounds like you have an excellent relationship with Ray.
@Flemming – So true about the desire for “great image”. Finding someone to go from great image to “great image and here’s how you can make it even stronger” is very challenging.
Hey Michael so good to see you here! You’ve hit the nail on the head with your sharing of what happened at work. Sometimes people just don’t click and no-one is to blame. I think it is good to spend a bit of time in the beginning figuring out if the two people are a good match. If it’s forced, it probably won’t be successful.
Really interesting post Sabrina. I never thought of a mentor relationship (outside of school) as something you could just go out and “get”. At least not in a straight forward manner like that. I do think that good mentor relationships develop, but in more unexpected ways and certainly organically in the way you describe yours.
I was lucky enough to be introduced to a seasoned photographer in my town 7 years ago now. I was only looking for some feedback on my work. Perhaps he saw something worthwhile in my work or in my yearning to become a professional photographer I’m not sure, but he agreed to mentor me informally. But he warned me right off the bat, ‘Don’t waste my time’ he said. I know now that he wanted me to be certain that this is what I really wanted, as much as he did not want to waste his time and energy with just a dabbler. I always heeded his advice and nurtured our relationship. He gave me the courage to dedicate all my time and energy on a full-time business and to go digital. We’ve had many interesting discussions over the years and we developed a friendship as well. One day he called me for advice in an area that I was very knowledgeable on and it felt so great that I could give something back to him. Although he will always be more experienced than me, I do feel like I am closer to a colleague relationship now and that is in great part due to his mentoring. And I hope that some day I can do that for someone else.
With the journey you are on right now Christine, I am certain that you will be able to do this for someone else!
I think you are saying something similar to Daniel. Not all mentoring is formal. Even though Ray mentors me, most days it’s just feels like we are friends on this life journey.
Another thought-provoking post Sabrina. Mentors/mentees are interesting relationships where both people can gain much. It is an opportunity for people to ;present’ themselves through the photographs/comments and discussions – a potential opportunity for deeper understanding of yourself and for great learning.
thanks for this
Maureen (a rainy day – good for catching up)
Thanks Maureen! So pleased you found some time to drop in. Definitely for me, I’ve learnt more about myself and I think it’s going to start showing up more and more in my images.
Thank you Sabrina for the kind words, although I am not sure I recognize the guy you are talking about.
One thing I would add to this discussion is people will get out of a relationship like this what they put into it. Looking for the secret to success or a quick fix isn’t going to happen. It is hard work on the part of both sides of the equation and incredibly rewarding when it works. I can’t emphasis enough how gifted Sabrina is and how much her work ethic, incredible curiosity and talent has made the difference in her journey.
Lots of folks can provide a map, and it helps to have a map custom made for you but you still have to chose to walk the path. Special people like Sabrina are the reason I keep doing things like this.
Thanks again for the kind words Sabrina, now lets get back to making ‘stuff’.
Wow, Sabrina, this sounds amazing and I’m glad you found what you were looking for.
This kind of relationship is something I’ve never considered but it certainly sounds helpful, and also kind of fun. (Is it fun? I’m assuming it is, at times!:) )
I read through some of the comments, and I see what you mean about receiving comments like “great image” – haha, I kind of see myself in that. A lot of times, I come across what I think are amazing images but I don’t know what it is or how to describe what makes them great to me. (Sometimes it’s simple, like capturing a beautiful landscape.) I’ve never had any formal training in photography, nor a mentor, so I suppose that has to do with my issue partly. Again, thanks for making me think!
It seems that you have a community of amazing photographers and friends – I definitely wish I had something similar where I am!
I guess this post snuck past me since I was in Kathmandu at the time.
I’ve never been involved in formal photography mentoring but I’ve been a mentor for one year for a last-year student in a business school.
Even if the formal relationship ended and she now have worked for a few year, we still see each other even if we are twenty years apart in age.
I never imagined in advance how much I would get out of it. The topics the mentee (or adept as we called it) wanted to discuss forced me on a journey of exploring my mind and my attitude and approach to different topics. If she got half as much out of it as I did (and still do) I am more than happy.
It was a great learning journey for me.